 - Last login: 3 hours agoFindtheriver
- d'Zhuoy is a 41 year old woman from Ex-Urbs, New York, USA.
- Likes 948 pages, 44 videos, 88 photos • 122 fans • Received 32 reviews
- Member since Aug 13, 2006
"All my thoughts, they come in pairs. / I will, I won't, I doubt, I don't, / I'm not surprised but I never feel quite prepared." --Bright Eyes ...---... "When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody's bothering to tell you anymore, that's a very bad place to be. Your critics are your ones telling you they still love you and care." --Randy Pausch, "Last Lecture"
Favorites » Her Blog
-
-
Note: The following is terribly boring.
I have of late become interested in how thoughts happen as a train, cars linked one to another. And so I've been trying to observe, in my own mind, how one thought leads onto another. Tonight I caught this one, which started with a piece of hair and ended in tears.
After my shower I was picking off a piece of hair that had twined itself around the ribbon on my wrist.
The ribbon is a pink silk ribbon from a birthday present that my mom had given me on my birthday, which was the day she underwent the big pancreatic surgery.
The combination of the hair and the wrist brought to mind John Donne's poem "The Relic." In the poem the bones are exhumed, and this reminded me that my mother was cremated, not buried, and that her ashes are, in fact, sandlike bone fragments.
I thought of the ashes, currently on the kitchen island where I set them down some weeks ago.
I should put them somewhere that makes sense. I thought about my nightstand dresser, putting them there so she would be near me.
This in turn reminded me that the real "she" is not ever going to be with me again. She is not out there in Colorado waiting for me to call her Sunday night.
It was like ripping off a leathery scab and seeing the wound bleed again.
|
her Favorites
Add her as a friend >
